Marriage and Children

When I was single, dating and aimlessly bouncing from one pointless relationship to another, marriage seemed like the promised land. I mean married women seemed to have it all - a great guy who would worship the very ground they walked on, money, great hair, great clothes, perfect nails. Having a husband and children seemed like winning the gold in the Olympics of life without the help of steroids.

Single was the antithesis of marriage for me. Single was unbearable at times, morbid and depressing. I figured that I would be happily married by the time I finished college. But that did not happen. Then I thought that it definitely would happen by the time I finished law school. But that didn't happen either. So marriage and children eluded me for quite some time.

As I approached 30, alone and lonely, I couldn't help but wonder, isn't there something else? And that something could not possibly be at the bottom of that Ben and Jerry's pint of ice-cream or in a Lifetime movie. So yes, I had a serious case of engagement ring envy. And yes, I read every wedding magazine I could find at the supermarket checkout, airports and on the train. In fact, you might recall seeing me - I was the one feverishly reading the wedding mags from cover to cover without an engagement ring.

And yes I was addicted to that infamous pull-out section of the New York Times looking for people I went to school who were announcing their wedding to the world. And of course it goes without saying - I watched "A Wedding Story" and "A Baby Story" religiously. And of course, I had at least 10 if not more BBMDs- bad brides maids dresses- in my closet. The constant reminder that I was always just one dress away from the grand prize.

Eventually, I wound up falling in love with a guy I had met on a blind date in college. We dated briefly and broke up (he was way too nice for me back then and I was a glutton for heartbreak anyway) and we wound up reconnecting about 10 years later and getting married. Finally I was the star of my very own "Wedding Story".

When I asked my mother for some words of wisdom about marriage, children, parenting etc., she replied, "the grass isn't greener on the other side of that white picket fence.... and remember, you can take care of your own damn lawn" . I didn't quite get it.

Seven years, a mortgage, two children plus a step-daughter later, I think I get it.

So after having worked a 9 plus hour day, I have just taken out the garbage, fed and bathed my sons, read The Very Hungry Catepillar to them for the upmteenth time, packed the kids lunches for tomorrow and finished helping my step-daughter with her 5th grade geometry homework (since my husband finds determining the difference between a trapezoid, an octagon and a triangle way too challenging). I am of course thinking about marriage, parenting, children and wondering what was so bad about being single ?