Burger(less) King

On my way home from work today I get a call from headquarters. Its my husband who informs of two things - one, Brandon (my three year old) needs help with an arts and crafts project (did I mention he was diagnosed with H.A.? - that stands for "homework aversion") and two - that there was nothing thawed out for dinner so I should pick up some food. Great example of typical husband-like behavior. I have no clue how he occupied himself all day. And in all likelihood, neither does he.

Then I remembered that I didn't give him a task list today so he probably sat around doing nothing. My bad.

As I am contemplating how I could install a daddy-cam at home, he asks what am I going to get. So since dinner has now become my problem now, I figure when in doubt, go to Burger King. After polling the children, he tells me that the consensus was unanimous - burgers and fries from Burger King. So I pull into the drive-thru close to home and the conversation goes something like this:

Apathetic Male Voice: Welcome to Burger King. Can I help you?

Me: Yes, hi... can I have a kids meal with a burger and fries for a boy..with a coke... and...

Apethetic Male Voice: Ummm, we don't have any burgers right now.

Me: Excuse me?

Apathetic Male Voice: We don't have any burgers right now.

Me: You're kidding right? There are absolutely no burgers??? (While I am saying this, I casually look in my rear view mirror to check my end-of-the-day hair and make-up in case I am being set up for a commercial).

Apathetic Male Voice: Nope.

Me: You aren't kidding, are you?

Apathetic Male Voice: No.

Me: What happened to the burgers? (I mean WTF? Does the King know about this?)

Awkward moment of silence...

Apathetic Male Voice: Ummm. *sigh* I am not sure - I think the grill is broken. We just don't have any burgers right now. We might have some later. We do however have chicken.

Second awkward moment of silence.

So I call headquarters and my step-daughter answers the phone.

Me: Hi...umm...Burger King has no burgers.

Annie: Ha..Ha...not funny. Remember get me the whopper junior meal, no pickles, no onions and extra ketchup. Oh and onion rings instead of fries.

Me: No, I am serious. There's no burgers. Do you want chicken?

Annie: Why don't they have burgers?

Me: Well, apparently the grill is broken.

Annie: Well if the grill is broken, how do they have chicken and not burgers? Don't they use the same grill? I mean, if we wanted chicken then we would have said KFC. Duh. Can't we sue them for false advertising?

Point taken. So I drive away, perplexed. There has got to be something wrong with the world when Burger King has no burgers. Presuming that burgers and fries was the standing request, I wind up at Mc Donald's. What is the request from headquarters? Chicken mcnuggets and chicken sandwiches. This is typical decision-making from headquarters. Go figure.